What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops