2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

copy me and i will kill you

You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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