CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

i just wrote this so hard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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