What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do u call a cripple Biv

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops