Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Everybody will die

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops