what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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