Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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you just read an anti-joke

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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