A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

69

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is black and has no education A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops