On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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