Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Terry has ebola

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops