Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Ron Paul for President!

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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