Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Pickles are powerful

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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