roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

Pickles are powerful

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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