Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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hi

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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