don't just stand there

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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