I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops