Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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TRICERATOPS!

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops