Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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I'm Polish.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops