What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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A jew enters a mall.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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I enjoy Popcorn

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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