How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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