Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops