Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +30

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops