What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1.....2.....3.....boom you died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops