A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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