What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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