A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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