what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What did the fish say after he

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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BIG MAC'S

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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