If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops