What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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feminism

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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