what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Mr. T watched "the notebook"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops