A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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