how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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No antijoke here.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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