A Duck walks into a bar.

123 f*ck off

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

I'm gay.

Whats green? The color green.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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