What did the fish say after he

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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BIG MAC'S

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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