Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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