What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

thumb_up thumb_down -29

yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Amazing

thumb_up thumb_down -29

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats 7+4? 74

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops