two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

thumb_up thumb_down -29

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

thumb_up thumb_down -31

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stop. Seriously stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops