What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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like most people my age. im 27

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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