Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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What would Muhammed do?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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