Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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why do you always see black people smoking? because your neighbors are black and they smoke on their porch,a place you can probably see from your house.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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