What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Women's rights

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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