What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops