what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops