What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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you give like i give lomain

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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