What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is worse than joel an infested asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops