What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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