What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...