Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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