How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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