Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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