Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops