Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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black chicken. kfc

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Matthew Wyckoff

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops