ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What's half of 8? o

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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