A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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Jersey Shore.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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